The Compassion Balance: Understanding the Interrelation of Self- and Other-Compassion for Optimal Well-being

@article{sahdra2023the,
  author = {Sahdra, Baljinder K. and Ciarrochi, Joseph and Fraser, Madeleine I. and Yap, Keong and Haller, Elisa and Hayes, Steven C. and Hofmann, Stefan G. and Gloster, Andrew T.},
  title = {The Compassion Balance: Understanding the Interrelation of Self- and Other-Compassion for Optimal Well-being},
  year = {2023},
  journal = {Mindfulness},
  volume = {14},
  number = {8},
  pages = {1997-2013},
  publisher = {Springer Science and Business Media LLC},
  doi = {10.1007/s12671-023-02187-4}
}

In plain language

Being kind to yourself and being kind to others usually go together — but do they for everyone? This study asked whether the well-known benefits of compassion depend on what the authors call “self-other harmony”: the degree to which, moment to moment, a person’s compassion for themselves rises and falls together with their compassion for other people.

Using experience sampling, 154 patients with a variety of diagnoses reported their self-compassion, compassion for others, life satisfaction, and mood on their devices six times a day across 42 time points, capturing compassion as it played out in real daily life rather than in a one-off questionnaire. For most people, self- and other-compassion were positively linked. But there was substantial variation between individuals, and at least 19 people showed the opposite pattern: when their self-compassion went up, their compassion for others went down. Standard statistical models that average across people effectively hid these individuals.

Crucially, harmony mattered for well-being. Higher compassion was associated with higher well-being only among people whose self- and other-compassion moved in harmony. For those whose two forms of compassion were unrelated or in conflict, compassion levels were largely disconnected from well-being. The findings argue for personalised compassion interventions: raising compassion will help most people, but for a minority, clinicians may first need to explore how the person interprets self- and other-compassion and help them find the balance that works for their well-being.

Key findings

• In 154 patients assessed six times daily over 42 time points, self-compassion and other-compassion were positively associated for most people at the group level.
• There was substantial heterogeneity between individuals, with at least 19 people showing a negative within-person correlation between self- and other-compassion.
• Self-other harmony moderated the compassion–well-being link: higher compassion predicted higher well-being only for people whose self- and other-compassion moved together.
• When the two forms of compassion were uncorrelated or in discord, levels of self- or other-compassion were largely unrelated to well-being and life satisfaction.
• Standard multilevel models shrank individual estimates toward the group average, absorbing the individuals with negative associations — illustrating the need for idionomic (individual-first) analysis.
• The results support personalised compassion interventions rather than a one-size-fits-all approach to building compassion.

Related work

• All publications by Joseph Ciarrochi (searchable, with free PDFs)
• Process-Based Therapy & Idionomic Analysis

Author: Joseph Ciarrochi (ORCID 0000-0003-0471-8100). Free copy hosted with permission for scholarly use. Please cite the published version via the DOI above.