The stability and change of trait emotional intelligence, conflict communication patterns, and relationship satisfaction: A one-year longitudinal study

@article{smith2008the,
  author = {Smith, Lynne and Ciarrochi, Joseph and Heaven, Patrick C.L.},
  title = {The stability and change of trait emotional intelligence, conflict communication patterns, and relationship satisfaction: A one-year longitudinal study},
  year = {2008},
  journal = {Personality and Individual Differences},
  volume = {45},
  number = {8},
  pages = {738-743},
  publisher = {Elsevier BV},
  doi = {10.1016/j.paid.2008.07.023}
}

In plain language

What keeps couples satisfied with their relationship over time — who they are, or how they communicate? This study followed 45 cohabiting heterosexual couples in the Sydney–Wollongong region of Australia over 12 months. Both partners completed measures of trait emotional intelligence (their self-perceived emotional skills and dispositions), the communication patterns they use during conflict, and how satisfied they were with the relationship, at the start of the study and again one year later.

Using statistical models that account for the interdependence between partners, the researchers could separate “actor effects” (how your own traits affect your own satisfaction) from “partner effects” (how your traits affect your partner’s satisfaction). Emotional intelligence behaved like a stable personality trait: people higher in EI were consistently more satisfied at both time points, but EI did not predict whether satisfaction went up or down over the year. Communication was a different story. When women reported that the couple tended to avoid discussing problems and withhold feelings, both partners’ satisfaction declined over the following year.

The findings suggest that personality sets a stable backdrop for relationship satisfaction, while interaction patterns — especially mutual avoidance of problems — drive change over time. Because women often initiate problem-solving discussions, their disengagement may mean issues never get resolved, with corrosive effects on both partners.

Key findings

• An individual’s self-rated emotional intelligence had a stable, constant effect on their own relationship satisfaction across the 12 months, but did not predict changes in satisfaction — consistent with EI operating like other personality traits.
• There were no partner effects for emotional intelligence: it was people’s own EI, not their partner’s, that related to their satisfaction.
• Women’s reports of mutual avoidance and withholding at Time 1 predicted declines in both their own and their partner’s satisfaction a year later; men’s reports of avoidance had no such effect.
• Contrary to expectations, constructive communication and demand-withdraw patterns did not predict changes in satisfaction over the year.
• Reports of avoidance and withholding increased significantly for both men and women over the 12-month period, while EI, other communication patterns, and satisfaction remained stable at the group level.
• The strongest predictor of satisfaction at Time 2 was satisfaction at Time 1, consistent with theory on the longitudinal course of marital quality.

Related work

• All publications by Joseph Ciarrochi (searchable, with free PDFs)
• Process-Based Therapy & Idionomic Analysis

Author: Joseph Ciarrochi (ORCID 0000-0003-0471-8100). Free copy hosted with permission for scholarly use. Please cite the published version via the DOI above.